Self-Love for Busy Mothers: Finding Balance in the Chaos

In the whirlwind of motherhood, it's easy to lose sight of your own needs. Many mothers find themselves at the bottom of their own priority list between diaper changes, school runs, and endless to-do lists. I do speak from experience. I thought self-love for busy mothers was highly selfish. However, practising self-love isn't just a luxury—it's essential for your well-being and, by extension, your family's. I wish someone had reminded me that busy moms must incorporate self-love into their hectic lives. Let me be that “someone” for you.

Self-Love for Busy Mothers: Finding Balance in the Chaos

1. Embrace Imperfection

Let go of the myth of the "perfect mother." Don’t compare yourself to a picture-perfect mother on social media; you have no idea what her reality is. Embrace your uniqueness and remember that your best is good enough. Celebrate small victories and learn from mistakes without harsh self-judgment.

2. Carve Out "Me Time"

Even 15 minutes a day dedicated solely to yourself can make a difference. Whether you enjoy a cup of coffee in peace, read a chapter of a book, or practise quick meditation, prioritise this time for yourself. Demand 30-60 of quiet time in the afternoon. Take the time to relax, read, browse the net or knit. During “Siesta”, the kids can be on their iPads, read, play games or do whatever they like to do in quiet rooms. You can call it mom-time or quiet-time, whatever works for you.

3. Nurture Your Body

Self-love starts with taking care of your physical health:

• Prioritise sleep when possible

• Choose nourishing foods

• Stay hydrated

• Move your body in ways that feel good

For me, it was zoo visits, hiking, forest walks and lake-days during summer. Engage in activities with your children. Nature naturally recharges our batteries, and if you can get into the water, like lakes, oceans, or streams, even better.

4. Practice Mindfulness - Self-Love for Busy Mothers

This can be difficult, but stay present in the moment. Mindfulness can help reduce stress and increase joy in daily activities, even during chaotic times. By the way, I wrote a Kindle book, Craft Your Calm - The Mindful Creator's Handbook: Discover the Art of Mindfulness Through Creative Projects. This book and its insights emerged from years of ignoring myself, depression, procrastination, and shame until I finally learned to take time for myself and embrace the creative pursuits that kept me sane and loved.

5. Set Boundaries

This will be one of the hardest to implement. Learn to say "no" to commitments that drain you. Setting healthy boundaries protects your energy and time for what truly matters. It took me well over 40 years to learn to set healthy boundaries and even cancel plans if I realised they were getting too overwhelming. 

6. Connect with Others

Maintain relationships outside of motherhood. Social connections are vital for emotional well-being, whether a quick call with a friend or joining a mom's group.

7. Pursue Personal Interests

Keep sight of your passions. Engaging in hobbies or learning new skills strengthens your identity alongside your role as a mother.

8. Practice Positive Self-Talk

Be kind to yourself in your thoughts. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and encouragement.

9. Ask for and Accept Help

Note to self: Reaching out for support isn't a sign of weakness—it's a sign of self-love and strength. Accept help when offered, and don't hesitate to ask when needed.

10. Celebrate Your Achievements

Acknowledge your efforts and successes, no matter how small they may seem. You're doing an incredible job balancing numerous responsibilities.

Remember, self-love isn't selfish—it's necessary. By caring for yourself, you're setting a positive example for your children and ensuring you have the energy and patience to be your best mother. Start small, be consistent, and watch how a little self-love transforms your life and your family's.

Much love

Monika